I remember that Rick and Lenna were among the first people to welcome Jerry and me into our new home and neighborhood when we moved next door to them in the Fall of 2008. We had lived all over the U.S. in our married life, and retired to a condo in Salt Lake City. A call to serve in the presidency of the Accra Ghana L.D.S. Temple took us to spend wonderful time in Africa among our choice brothers and sisters there. Upon our return, we knew we needed more space with our large family of 10 children and, at that time, 31 grandchildren, so we prayed and felt led to our new home in Draper. No one could have received a kinder and warmer reception than we did from the Barbers, and we knew we’d made absolutely the right choice of a place to live.
It seemed to me that every Relief Society function in our new ward that was done in the most incredible manner, not only as to beautiful décor but also in all those small touches that added true spirituality, could be credited to the never-ending creativity and massive amount of work put in by Lenna. And it was not just for the sake of pleasing the eye and gladdening the heart, but truly to bring us closer to the Savior. It didn’t take long to learn that Lenna was indeed a special daughter of her Heavenly Father.
We were often the recipients of some goodie from the Barber’s garden, but last summer I noted that Lenna’s walk was slower and her energy level not as high. I remember crying with her the day she told me of the ALS diagnosis.
Before she needed a walker or wheelchair, I was visiting her one morning and as I went to leave, received the strong impression: “Ask Lenna to join your scripture study group.” A number of sisters who had all served in Ghana gather one morning a week at my home to study the Book of Mormon together. My first thought in response was that she would not want to do so, knowing none of those women. But the impression came more forcefully, and so I did. To my surprise, she said she would love to. She came each week, even after she had to do so with a walker. When she was finally confined to a wheelchair and couldn’t get up the stairs into our home, she asked that we meet at her home, and we did until the last couple of weeks, when she felt to weak to even listen.
I thought, when I felt pressed to issue the invitation, it was because Lenna would benefit from that time we all spent together discussing and pondering the scriptures– and I think she did. But I came to realize that the rest of us benefitted far more from learning those things she had to teach us. Her faith, her courage, her absolute trust in her Father in Heaven was an inspiration and strength to each one of us. The greater blessings came to us as she shared personal insights and testimony. Always, her concerns about leaving mortality soon were over what would happen to her husband, children, and grandchildren. She labored to leave a letter for each one to say those things she would not be able to share in person in the coming years. All she really wanted was that her family be an eternal family, and remain true to those great gospel truths she had learned for herself were indeed true.
Jerry and I have seen others die with Lou Gehrig’s Disease. It is a terrible thing to watch them slowly lose function in each part of their body, all the various body systems shutting down. And through all that, as they often end up with nothing working unless aided by a machine of some sort, only their brain still functions, trapped in a body that has become useless to them. We did not want to see that happen to Lenna, and so, like so many others who love her, we prayed each night that, if she was not to be healed, she would go quickly and quietly. Why is it that we pray so hard for something and then are sometimes amazed when the answer is “yes”? Everyone believed she might live for many months still and continue to physically deteriorate, but a kind Father deemed it was not necessary in her case.
I’d like to tell her family about a couple of small “tender mercies” we were involved in on the morning Lenna slipped quietly back home to her Heavenly Father. We were invited to the home of one of our sons for a waffle breakfast, and were looking forward to that. Then we awoke to about 8 inches of very wet snow, so Jerry decided we would put off our visit until the afternoon and he would shovel the walks. He has shoveled Rick and Lenna’s walks before, and when Jerry has early morning temple duty, Rick has shoveled ours. But Jerry always does our first, and then does the Barbers. That morning, he just felt for some reason that he should do the Barber’s walks first. Then he did their driveway and front steps. After that he returned to do ours, and went in our back yard to shovel decks and walks there.
When I knew we weren’t leaving, I climbed back under the covers in my pajamas and grabbed a book I wanted to read. I hadn’t read for long when I felt as though someone spoke in my ear, saying “You need to get up and get dressed.” My response was, why on earth should I do that when I was going nowhere and enjoying lazily reading my book? So I kept reading. The injunction was repeated more firmly, and, remembering times past when I had learned to listen to that little voice – or sadly had not listened- I decided to get up. I showered and dressed quickly and was just finishing pulling on clothes when our front doorbell rang. It took me a minute to get to the door as I finishing some buttoning up, and when I opened it, no one was on the steps. I looked out to the front sidewalk and Rick stood there in the freezing cold in slippers, no coat, with a phone in one hand and sobbing. I believe he was in shock. I called to him and he just kept saying, “Oh, she’s gone.” I told him I would grab my coat and come and then I yelled out the back door to Jerry to go quickly.
Rick had awakened to find Lenna’s spirit gone. As you know, they had been awake nearly all night with Lenna unable to rest, and so fell asleep toward morning. Rick was completely devastated. He had been trying to reach family and other friends by phone but had been unable to get hold of anyone. Perhaps that was partially because he was so upset he couldn’t dial correctly. I just don’t know. But we were able to get hold of Brother Larson and the Bishop, and soon Sister Jorgenson and other ward members arrived to take care of all that needed doing. As I looked out at all the cars pulling into the driveway I was thankful that Jerry had shoveled there first.
Many well just sneer and call all this coincidence. But the older I get the more I become aware of the “tender mercies” Heavenly Father affords his children to help through troubled times. The trials and heartaches are by no means all taken away. This life is indeed a test, and they are necessary to our growth and increased understanding. But in so many ways He gives evidence that He knows and cares - and hurts with us, and will do what is both possible and right to help us. This really had nothing to do with either me or Jerry- we just happened to be the people who lived next door and would be in a position t o offer a little needed help at the time it was needed. So those promptings came to us. But the tender mercy was for Rick, who the Heavens knew would need a bit of a helping hand and sincere hugs in those early moments. I know many others could tell you similar accounts of promptings that came to them to helping through this time. My testimony is that Father in Heaven loves and carefully watches over Rick and Lenna Barber – and all of us How blessed we for the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ, And how blessed to have been part of Rick and Lenna’s story – and we look forward to being a part of that story eternally.
Leslie Pearson Rees
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